The Living List And The Crossroad

The Bible is called the living word of God because it speaks to us in different ways at different times of our lives. No matter what we are looking for or whatever we are going through in our daily struggles, the Bible has something on it. We may have read a passage a hundred times before and then one day it will just click and mean something totally different than we have ever thought before, a deeper understanding so to speak.

I am not comparing my project list to the Bible by no means but in a scene, it does the same thing. A year and a half ago I made a list of all the projects that needed to be done to achieve my five year plan. In just a short couple of months that plan changed to a seven year plan and several more projects were added.
I re-visit my original project list on a monthly basis either adding or removing projects to soot the need of where I am going and what I am doing. I even have a sketch of what the final product or the finished outcome will look like. I have even taken the time to prioritize each item and also break down every project into a parts list with the estimated total cost for each. It is an OCD thing I think.

I don't know if it a mood thing or a maturity thing and it could even be an influenced thing but reading over my project list again this month I noticed my direction might have change some because the list is not where I really want to end up.
For instance, there is a big possibility I might not even be living where I am at in three to five years so why would I want to build structures that cannot be moved. On the other hand if I am here for another twenty years, I will be kicking myself for not building them. I have already put a lot of effort and expense into the Mini Farm and most of it cannot go with me if I need to go. Some recent events have came up to where I need to rethink all this.       
Plus, most of my thoughts and plans have turned toward survival mode and about half of the projects are for functionality and producing products to make money, not surviving. Oh I guess they could be used for living if need be but I would still have to rely on electric off the pole to survive for long periods of time to make it work.  I could focus on just the projects that have to do with being more self sufficient and then see where we go from there but a lot of those are stationary projects that would have to left.

Next on the list is the outdoor kitchen. I really want to build it but the wife says we might need to wait and see what the next few months have in store for us and focus on our food, medical and living storage instead. I don't want to wait, but on the other hand I want all that other stuff done now too. The kitchen will cost an estimated $1500 to build and it will not be able to be moved. My dream kitchen will be someones else.

With the recent storms, I can see now that we will not be able to rely solely on the gardens to produce for our needs. They will be an added supply but cannot be the primary so that means more storage space and more shelves that have to be stocked.
I need to build a underground storage room for all the food and supplies but there we go again, a structure that cannot be moved when or if we do. If we store everything in the house and the house gets blown away in a tornado then we are helpless because all the supplies will be gone as well. A shipping container gets to hot to store food in plus they are about $4000 dollars.  A cellar cost about the same and I do not want to put that much money into something and just leave it.

I am at a crossroad, standing at the intersection scratching my head wondering which way to go. Either way I go I know I will kick myself for going that way. There is never a middle ground with me, it is either all or nothing, one way or the other and most of the times I find out after it is to late I just walked around the same circle I was just on finding myself right back in the same spot making the same decisions I did before.

The Bible tells us not to store up our earthy treasures but when I starve to death I am afraid he is doing to say, "You dummy, I gave you the knowledge to survive and you didn't"