Friday, February 3, 2012

Just Wait Till You Hit 50

I have excepted the fact that no matter how old I get and the problems that come with it, there are always people to remind me it gets worse.

At twenty I was ten foot tall and bullet proof and there was always someone older telling me, "Just wait till your thirty and lets see what you think then."

At thirty I started gaining weight, loosing my hair and some things started to hurt a little. Sure enough someone who was older than me would say, "Just wait till your forty, then you will know what really hurts."
This month on the 28th I will turn forty years old and it is hitting me harder than I thought it would. Yesterday was a bad day for me and I started to write a post about what I felt, but then deleted it because after re-reading the depressing story I decided this was not the place for it. Plus I am sure most of the comments would have been, "Just wait till you hit fifty."
I will say this, I am finding myself changing. Not so much physically but my thoughts on things, my outlook on life you might say. Some of the things I have been dead set against, I am now entertaining the thought even as much as yearning for.
Take grandchildren for instance. As a father of three girls I have always been dead set against grandkids before the girls educations were complete. Though I still hold true to that thought, I am starting to lean towards turning the page on this old book from parent to grandparent.
I have been blessed with joys beyond my wildest dreams from being a parent and as my girls make the life transition into adulthood, I know their momma and I have done well.      

Of course I want them all to get their education, start a career and not rush anything, but what I am saying is I think I am turning that mortal corner of knowing I am on the back side of half way done here and still want something more, to see my legacy expand so to speak, before the end.

I think this is all a part of life and it all depends on how you proceed. Some leave their spouses, sell everything, dye their hair and start a new life. Some fall into a state of depression and give up, but most get up the next morning just like always, go to work and drive on as if nothing is wrong. I suppose it is all about choices if nothing else. I think what got to me the most yesterday was looking back on all my friends that did not make it this far in life either from their choices or the choices of others. But again I know, wait and see how many are around when I am fifty.

My birthday will come and go just like all the rest and I shall pray for many more. My forty year accomplishment will not be celebrated nor would I want it to be. I will be sharing my what was to be, birthday party for all the family members who also have a birthday in February, with my sisters seventh or so wedding. Again, she has taken the spotlight.

If it were up to me, I would spend that day on the tailgate of my old pickup down at the creek holding in my right hand the hand of my sole mate and my dream. In my left I would be holding my favorite cold beer. In front of me my girls would be lined up on the creek bank watching the river roll by concentrating on their cork, hoping for another bite.
That my friends is living right there.    


  1. Thanks for the comment buddy. I would have been commenting on yours but by the time I get to it you already have over forty comments and I figured what I needed to say was already said. Plus you know how I feel about what you are going through. Nuff said.

  2. The 28th is my birthday too! Im a few years behind you though! ;)

  3. Oh man, I used to be able to say stuff like that.
    Thanks for the comment.

  4. I would say don't sweat it but here in a few months I am turning 30 and getting overly bummed. I just find it so amazing how fast life flies right before my eyes. Just concentrate on making each day,week, and year better than the last.

  5. Believe it or not, my most upsetting birthday was my 25th. I was still single, no children of my own yet...I thought "geeze, I have been on this planet a 1/4 of a century and have absolutely nothing to show for it". Less than a year later I was married and had my first baby. It's been a whirlwind since:)
    Enjoy the day, even if you can't spend it the way you would choose. Have a super birthday!!

  6. you are just continuing what was started when you were born
    Ihave seen you grow over the years from a baby to a grown man to be very proud of your values that you have given your daughters is commended sad to say the world would be a lot better place if more fathers did the same as you have done their children your broher was raised with the same values and he is also a mane to be very proud of a mother couldn't ask for 2 young men to be more proud of then my sons have a very happy birthday son

  7. my dear friend, embrace turning 40! i am 41 and jambaloney is 46 and we are finally in our dream place and getting here has sucked something fierce. but oh man do we love our 40's! we're smarter, able to communicate better, have made friends finally with people we actually like, and don't really give a rats patoodie about much.

    we are comfortable in our skins which is why we don't like clothes.

    it sounds like you are maturing right before our eyes....nawwwwww!

    your friend,

  8. Slow down Jr. (haha) I am going to be 52 next month. Take one day at a time. We have 5 kids, 25,23,20,18,13. None are parents all still live at home. No one is in any rush.

    Enjoy life, and enjoy what you have. We have always wanted to buy our own home. We have been married 26 yrs and still waiting. My aches and pains are not from age, but from an OJI back in 2003. You and Mrs MDR are a fine wine, getting better with age.

  9. I feel your pain. I too will turn forty this year.

  10. Been There, Done That!
    Even past 50! and it does not get any eaiser!
    Looking at 60 in a couple years and I'm trying to start a new carrier!
    Correction Officer! More money and closer to home! I hope it will give me more time to do some of the things I want to do with this place.
    The list is a long one! Just a few:
    Fruit trees
    Chickens (eggs and meat)
    Goats (Dairy)
    Hoop House (exstend the growing season)
    Rain barrels and water storage

    It just goes on and on! Will I live long enough to get it all done? Doudt It!

  11. Coley - Agreed

    Stephanie - Thank you my friend.

    Mandy - Happy Birthday next week!

    MDRmom. Thanks mom.

    Kymber - I will, it's all part of it. Thank you

    Rob - Thanks buddy.

    SFG - Congrats on the accomplishment.

    Tom - Been there, done that. The corrections officer was not my cup of tea. Though I did love the fighting almost everyday back then, I would not want to do it again. Good luck with it.

  12. Stephen is right the best is yet to come. Even 70 isn't looking too bad anymore. (4 more years)

  13. Just turn 59 on the 2nd. Sixty is staring me in the face but I remember turning 40. It was a bad one. I thought every one was in their 20's and I was looking for a job and feeling worthless. So I took a crappy job working in a deli at a grocery store. That was hard thankless work. I lasted a month when my supervisor jumped my ass for not doing my assigned cleanup job the night before and when I told her that I had switched jobs with the other girl because she needed to leave earlier her comment was that it was my responsibility anyway. That was Superbowl Sunday. I marched my butt upstairs and told the store manager thanks for the opportunity to try this out but I didn't need to take that crap from anyone for what I was getting paid. I left in the middle of Superbowl! A week later I got a job I loved making 60 K a year. Go figure. Now I just want to get my self sufficient farm going and my girls through college. I am hoping I get to do that before my body gives me any more aches and pains. You go guy. Your doing good. And Happy Birthday.

  14. John - That is good to know, thank you.

    sista - Thank you.

  15. Too Funny Livininthecity, I get that a lot.

  16. Give it a few years fa-fa. Isn't that why you had kids young in the first place? To be that cool-hip parent? i remember your's and mom's 30th. Haha and here I am almost 20. Plenty of time ;)

  17. BEB-Don't take It wrong, no rush. Finish school, start a career and have some fun before you start thinking about it.