Walking In The Garden

I had time last night to take a quick walk through the garden. It is such a nice and relaxing area. In the middle of all the stresses of life, just a couple of minutes with nature, your maker and your own two hands does wonders for the soul.

It's Time

As well as you know for the past couple of months I have been mainly posting about projects and chili. I wanted to do an off topic post this time to show some of the newer readers I also have a life outside of working and competitive cooking.

It's Time

Let me explain, my personality will not let me leave something unfinished. If it's a project, a goal or a promise. No matter what it is, I have to be able to close the book on whatever it is I started. If not, it will haunt me until it is done.

Twenty one years ago I was standing in city hall of the town I was working at. I had just completed a repair of a water leak and was a little dirty, but I was summon to meet my supervisor and had to go. I was standing along the wall outside his office waiting for my turn when the City's engineer walked out. He paused, looked me up and down, then asked my boss why they let the dirt people in here. He then turned and as he walked away he looked back over his shoulder and told me to get an education.
That next semester I enrolled in College just out of spite for his kind.

Being a husband, having two jobs and going to school was tough. For over two years I slept less then two hours a night. My primary job was from 7 AM to 5 PM, school was from 6 PM to 1 PM and my second job was from 1 AM to 6 AM seven days a week. Some say you can go insane if you don't get at least four hours of sleep for any length of time. Maybe that is what's wrong me? I remember the wife nudging me to wake me up when I would fall asleep at red lights when it turned green. I looked for every possible second to get some shut eye. 

The wife and I started having babies soon after and all that I had going plus being a young father was too much. My priorities were drawn in the sand so I quit college and my second job to do what I needed to do and be there for them. No regrets, it was all my choice.

I have pushed and guided my three girls from the time they came home with us from the hospital to be something I chose not be. I would sit and talk to them while they slept in their crib and tell them they will be somebody some day and that they would make a difference. I would talk about higher education while driving them to kindergarten class and even after all these years, the talks still continue. My friends would ask me what I would do if they chose not to go and I would always respond with "That is not an option" and it is still not.
 All these years I have preached the importance of a getting a degree of some sorts to my children and here I sat a college drop out. How hypocritical is that? It's not that I made a mistake and it's not that I would change anything, it's about trying to get your kids to do better then you, go further in life and not have to struggle as much. I think that is same with almost every parent. Yes, it is their decision once they are of age, but how in the world can I look at myself in the mirror every morning knowing I did not try.                   
I was 18 years old sitting on the couch with my soon to be wife when I told my parents we were getting married. The only thing my dad said was that he had higher hopes for me. I never really got that until later on in life. Now I fully understand.

Going back to the beginning of this post, after 21 years, January 14th I will be starting college again. It is not in the same degree I was in, but it's still a degree. I am not doing it for any reason other than for me. I made a promise to myself twenty one years ago that I was going to be a college graduate. That promise has haunted me for way too long and it is time to dust off that old book, add another chapter and then finally close it.
It may take me five years to complete it, but in the end I will be able to hold to that stupid little piece of paper and say I did it.

Reality Check

With all the things happening around the world and even here on the home front this past week, it has been an eye opening reality check for me.

As y'all know for over the past couple of months I have lived without a plan and free from worry. Doing what I want, when I want and going where I want without really any care in the world. This has been the first time in my adult life I have done such a thing. Using the words "Oh, what the hell, lets go" became the new normal around the house and to tell you the truth, I liked it a lot.
Not worrying about how many pounds of corn mill or how many cans of freeze dried fruit I had on hand was nice. Not giving a second thought on animal production and sells was even nicer. We even half heartily planted a fall garden, but soon forgot about it and nothing even sprouted, but that's okay. When you doctor looks you eye to eye and says if you don't change something quick and stop worrying so much you will not be around to enjoy your grand babies. She went on to say if I keep going the way I am it would not be long. When something like that is said to you, you tend to start second guessing if what you are doing is really so important and if it's even worth it.

I can see how easy it is to get caught up in normal people's lifestyle. (I use that term only because they think they are the normal ones and we are the whack jobs). Only thinking about doing fun things and not caring if the sun comes up tomorrow gets addicting. Buying only the food you need for that night is actually really fun. Eating without a plan is like a getting a surprise every night, you never know what you might get. Going places without times, purpose and care was thought to be pointless before has now turned into a great time just being out with he family.

 Before the doctor (BTD) my personality and mental disorders made it where everything had to have a plan and be organized. Even if something was spontaneous, I usually started making the schedule and plans while walking to the truck and by the time we arrived, it was all planned out. I had to be, nothing else would do.
For a little over two months now I have not had to do that, but then this last week something changed.

When the attacks happened on our Embassy and the events that followed, emotions started building and something triggered in my brain, I found myself starting to worry again. I suddenly thought about the last time I did inventory on my food storage and I couldn't remember. I wondered how many months I have left of food since we stopped putting up. I wondered why I shut the bathhouse off and have not used it for over two months now. I could not figure out why I took my "get home" bag out of my truck. I could not understand why I have not used my hand powered washing machine in months and I felt depressed and the onslaught of panic started setting in when I remembered there was nothing growing in the gardens. I also felt sad because I don't have any animals left to care for and sustain me if need be.
Instead of looking out over the Mini Farm and seeing freedom from all the work like I have been doing all summer, all I could see now was emptiness and a lost dream.                   

The first opportunity I had Friday after work I grabbed the wife and went to Sam's. Then to Walmart, followed by a couple more quick stops on the way home. I am happy to say the storage room is stocked back up to where it needs to be. A few more things and it will be like this laps in judgement I had never happen.
Next on the list to get done was repacking my BOB and GHB for winter use. I picked up some new 72 hours kits from Wise foods a while back and finally got them packed. Plus I added some warm wear to the bags just in case.
It's not too late to get the green house replanted so tonight I plan to get the lettuce, carrots and whatever else I can think of planted for a winter garden. As far as the animals, I do not plan to get anymore until spring and when I do it will be nothing like what I had. I am not going to mass market and sell this next year near as much as I have done in the past, maybe a few dozen at best mainly for personal use.
I am also happy to say the bathhouse and washing machine are up and running again and are being used. Even though it was only a short time, I have forgotten how nice a 100% free hot shower felt until this last weekend.

Here's what's different this time around. I have now learned not to stress out over it all. If it can't get done it won't and if it's not getting done in a timely manner then that's okay. BTD, I was wound as tight as fishing line around a tree branch. Now ATD, I can now control my worries to what matters and I learned how to have fun again, everything is good. I have lost over 30 pounds, my blood pressure is almost back to normal and I feel great.

Homesteading, prepping and surviving is my focus and my way of life, but I have to take care of me so I can enjoy it. The cool thing is, I don't care if that is selfish.

     
 

Unequally Yoked As A Prepper

The apostle Paul wrote to the saints in Corinth, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

I understand Paul was talking about our and our mates individual belief in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost. If you were raised in any type of religious environment it is taught that we need to "Yoke" ourselves to the same. Setting color and ethnicity to the side, our partners beliefs need to be close to same in order for the relationship to work without spiritual conflict.

As with all things there are exceptions. I know couples who have been married for years that are of different beliefs. One being Baptist and the other Catholic. I asked one fifty year couple how it all worked for so long and he said they never talk about it. They just do their own thing. I guess if it works, it works but how sad is it not to be able to fellowship with your own beloved spouse.

If we married ourselves it would boring. There has to be some differences to make life interesting. Maybe my wife likes Mexican food a lot more then me or I like Rock climbing more than her. The differences are what makes life more interesting and those small differences we all have with one another should not stand in the way with how we live. I will compromise and eat tacos more than I would like while the wife compromises and stays at the bottom of the rock cliff cheering me on telling me not fall.

But what if our mates do stand in the way. We could be on the same page on just about everything in life except the one we feel so strongly about and it will make for a disaster waiting to happen. We also evolve as we get older and gain knowledge. What did not interest me twenty two years ago when I wed my be my main focus today. If she is not of the same mind set then conflict will happen and the same the other way as well.

I am not comparing Religion to Mexican food or anything of the sorts.
Here's the bottom line, What if a survivalist weds a non-survivalist, a homesteader to a apartment dweller that does not want to move, a prepper to a spender or a farmer to a high kept city gal? He/she will will never get the support or backing unless one or the other changes their mind set to become more like the other.

Doing your own thing will only last for a while, but when you come home with a new survival gadget when the other one wants to buy a new dog sweater, that is where the trouble starts. I may like the shade from my trees, but the wife may want more sun for her new garden. What if I want to buy extra food at the store for my preps but she wants to go out for dinner, conflict is inevitable when we are unequally yoked in that way.

Everyone can compromise to an extent. I can only buy some extra food and then take her to McDonald's. Do we both win, or do we both loose? Neither got what we really wanted.

Aside from food storage, what about just living. As we get older we tend to want to eat better to preserve what little precious life we have left. Eating better means buying more expensive organic foods or growing your own. If I had no help in the gardens or harvesting and preserving the foods and the wife was against the very nature of me doing such dumb things, then I would eventually become bitter while I watched my mate eat the food I labored for.
Don't get me wrong, being unable to help is one thing, but complaining and blatantly sitting on the couch refusing to help while I clearly need it is something entirely different.

I am lucky that I found a woman with the same mind set as I do. I can only remember a hand full of ideas she has turned her nose up at, but then helped out anyway. Being yoked to the same thought process is a wonderful thing. We may differ on how to do it, but the end result is that it gets done. Backing and support are everything when trying to do all this and it is really hard to do it when someone you love is not with you in every step.

No, prepping/homesteading is not as big a deal as my beliefs in the creator, but understanding and support are pieces of the puzzle I call marriage. I should only hope you all are equally yoked to your spouse in all this and for for the ones who are not, I say to hang in there and do what you can, maybe they will turn around.