Monday, June 10, 2013

Epic Failure


Why do I put myself through it?
All the time it took and all the money spent for the graduation party is gone now. I felt it was a complete failure. Others say it wasn't, but they are just being nice.
On the menu was Ribs, Pork Butt, Chicken, Grilled Corn, Grilled Squash, Stuffed Mushrooms, Stuffed Peppers, Baked Beans, Potato salad, two or three more things and a table full of deserts.

You can pick up on something is wrong when people put their plates in the trash upside down. No, really believe me when I say it. Most folks don't want to be rude so instead of eating the food they will cover it in a paper towel and throw the plate in the trash upside down so no one will see them throwing food away.  

First off about twenty folks that said were going to be there didn't show. We still had a good crowd of around thirty five come by.
Second, I messed up the potato salad, I never mess up potato salad. The wife saved me by making a potato salad casserole out of my mess, it was a hit.
Next, people said the chicken was not done and threw it away. I checked and I thought it was. I smoked it
at 250 degrees for four hours, the meat gauge read 190 to the bone, the juice ran clear and so about twenty pieces of chicken were thrown in the trash. It was pink because of the smoke, not because it was not done.
This picture here was when I first put them on. They ended up looking so good.   

Next, when I cooked ribs in the past I usually over cook them and they fall off the bone. This time I did things a little different and did the 3-2-1 method by smoking them for three hours, wrapping them for the next two and then finishing them off unwrapped and caramelizing the bbq sauce for the last hour. I thought they tasted out of this word, but some folks took one bite and trashed them.   

The pork butt was cooked to 175 degrees because I wanted to serve it sliced. At 190 it would have been dried up pulled pork. I found about four pounds of it in the trash because they said it was not done. I thought it had the best taste of all and was amazing. All because it was not burnt up I guess it was not done.

Next was my fault again. I was so busy trying to serve I forgot and left the squash and corn on the grill and did not serve it till it was to late. Thirty ears of corn and about forty packets of grilled squash went uneaten. That one is on me. The wife sent as much home to people as she could and the rest is in the ice box. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The beans were good. Not much of that was left. I guess it was the only eatable food there so everyone ate their helping of them.





The girls all pitched in and helped. They did a great job and had a good time. Even tho pealing potatoes is not fun, they made it that way. The one on the left is Boppy. She is the one that graduated Friday night. On the way to graduation she said she was nervous about graduating. I told her she needs to be nervous about tomorrow and she asked why. I said because it is the first day of the rest of your life. On the right is Wee. She really did not want to be pealing potatoes as you can tell from the look.  

A storm rolled in about 3:00 AM and woke me up. I didn't put everything up and spent the next few minuets running around in the pouring rain trying to pick up as much stuff as I could. I lost my shade cover and a few more things to the high winds and the down pour. They didn't say anything about rain. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

I told Wee next year we are going to Chucky Cheese and will not be having a BBQ. This one will go down in the history books as an epic failure. I can count on one hand and have four fingers left over on how many times I put on a bad BBQ.
Other than that, the Mini Farm was a hit, the animals were spoiled. Everything looked great.

30 comments:

  1. We all internalize what we consider epic failures. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think, but since you like to make things perfect, and you feel you missed your mark, it stings a bit more. Don't forget the day was about your daughters graduation, and not the food you served. I'm sure she appreciated all your effort. It sounded like quite an undertaking.

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    1. Yea Izzy, the wife says it wasn't that bad but I thought it was. It was an undertaking.

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  2. Dunno - I think the smoked chicken sounds cooked (190o on the bone) - reckon you just had fussy guests. Next time invite me LOL

    Tip re: the ribs - boil 'em first - then barbecue them with sauce. Cooked, tender and very tasty :)

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    1. Thanks for the tip Dani and don't take this the wrong way but I refuse to boil my ribs. My ribs were perfect the way I cooked them. I know some that do boil and you can really taste the difference.

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  3. I don't fix large quantity meals but I have similar disasters but it is a learning experience. The good thing is that you realized it was a problem and didn't blame the guests as some chiefs do.

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    1. What do you mean SBF, it's never my fault. Just ask the wife.

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  4. It all sounds good to me! I do not like any meat red or pink on the inside. So, I would have asked why it is so tender and still pink. If ribs are falling off the bone, I eat no matter what they look like. Have these people never had meat cooked on the grill? Smoked?

    Next time, make it hotdogs! Boiling chicken makes the cooking of them easier, I hear. I have never boiled chicken before I grilled it.

    Like you, I would be very, very disappointed. Do you have animals that could eat the garbage?

    There have been so many times I forgot to serve something. They key to remembering is to make a list of what you are serving a week or two ahead of time. You can then rearrange the list with day before chores, day of and finally a list of things you want to serve. Put that list on the table outside with you. We all forget stuff and kick ourselves.

    Hopefully, other than the wasting of food, everything was festive. I think that during the year I would have to mention casually in front of these people about the pink in the meat.

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    1. Thanks PP,
      Lists? I made lists for lists including a time line in 15 min intervals from 8:00 AM to 5:50 PM. That is part of my OCD. I never had this happen and never will again. The meat was not pink and I don't say anything to anyone when I am at their house because I would be called rude. You can't please them all and you can't have it your way all the time. This time is wasn't the my way and I can except that as long as it doesn't happen anymore.
      Other than that it was a fun time.

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  5. I meant to say, "Next time, invite me. I will even bring a nice gift!" Mark up your disappointment as a lesson. Maybe next time, you could "warn" people about the meat being cooked well, just looking a little pink." Probably one person started the whole thing, sidling up to people to warn them.

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    1. I was even told "you live in my own world and the rest of us are just here for your entertainment" Where did that come from?
      July 4th is the next one, come on.

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    2. So, what is wrong with your having a few people for entertainment in your world? That person who said that is foolish.

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    3. I think it was meant mainly out of fun PP but I still didn't understand it. If it was all about me and my world then I wouldn't have anyone in it. I can entertain myself pretty good.

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  6. i'm sorry but it all sounds delicious to me!!! and i can't imagine that it was even half as bad as you think - you are a perfectionist and maybe it wasn't absolutely perfect, but it sure sounds like it was a good time! next time, invite me and jambaloney. there is nothing on the planet that we won't eat and although we only take our share at potlucks and bbq's - if we see that people aren't eating for whatever reason - we'll eat 5 more plates! we would have cleaned you out! and thanked you for your gracious hospitality and your wonderful food! the mini-farm looks beautiful btw!

    your friend,
    kymber

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    1. Aww Kymber, you are always so nice. I'm calling your bluff, the next one is July 4th, come on down.

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  7. Don't be hard on your self. Most folks don't know that smoked chicken will be pink. Don't sweat the small stuff, as its all small stuff.

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  8. It happens to the best of us.Keep that chin up.

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  9. I can understand your frustration/disappointment/hurt. I've willingly put myself out to have a group of friends over - cooked/cleaned like a mad woman - only for nobody to show....or if some did show, the food not turn out right (though, judging by your pictures, yours turned out delicious!) I know it's hard not to judge yourself harshly, but try to take this in stride. I'm willing to bet monopoly money that your next big bbq will be a huge success! :)

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    1. Thanks Ginny, the next one is July 4th and we will be doing whole hogs in the pit. I guess we will burn them up to a dry piece of pork jerky so they will be done enough for everyone.
      It's fine really, I just have never had this happen and I pride myself on my food so it was kinda a kick in the gut.

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  10. Your chicken sounds perfect. Something you might want to mention if you're ever in that position again- chicken isn't pink when it's raw. Occasionally you get pink chicken because of the water at the processing plant, I think it's sulphur, but don't quote me on that, pickling it. Otherwise the pink must have been from the smoking. Raw chicken is white.

    Better luck next time!

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    1. Thanks Wendy, I think it was from the smoke and the juice was running clear.
      I found out yesterday everyone was wanting brisket and came over expecting that. I just wanted to do something else.

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    2. Even if you go expecting other food, you don't take food on your plate and toss it because you are a whiny baby and wanted something else.

      Last night, I baked a turkey. It was pinkish near the bone and so tender that a baby could have gummed it.

      You did a great job! But, wasted food is the horror.

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    3. That turkey sounds great, I would have gummed it. Thanks PP

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  11. Don't take it to heart MDR, they are just being way too picky. It sounds like you put on a great feast, and I would have enjoyed it, much to the horror of my waistline hehe.

    Congrats to your daughter!

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  12. Had the same thing happen, put 12 chickens in a whole hog in a roaster. Those suckers cooked for 7 hours and the legs are falling off taking them out. 1 person says those are not cooked. So people where grilling them to a char. They missed out on some of the best smoked chicken ever.
    Dennis

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    1. Thanks for sharing that Dennis. That is what I will doing on the 4th with a hog in the pit. On second thought, I might let someone else do it.

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  13. Husband smoked a cajun turkey one year for thanksgiving
    . Mother n law complained because it was pink.....yes, it was supposed to be--it was the spices in it. She didn't eat hers, threw it away. Everyone else raved about it and there was none left.

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    1. Thanks April,
      Even this last weekend they were still talking about it. It wasn't like they bought it or anything so whats the big deal.

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