Thursday, November 21, 2013

MDR, Open and Exposed

This month marks the fourth year on starting over here at the Mini Farm.



We came from the farm to this nice house in the city. We hung on as long as could.
To a little place out in the country with a lot of potential where we started life all over again, you could say city life was not for us. Life happens so we ended up going back to what we knew best. It was going to take work, but we were up for it. We had a blank canvas to work with and a fist full of ideas to go on.



The end result after four years was this, a fully working, self sustainable homestead.
I cannot count the man hours, money, drops of sweat, tears and blood we have poured into this place to make it what we dreamed it would be. We have came along way in a short amount of time. Just about everyone who has ever came to the Mini Farm has wished they had something like it.

Many projects and experiments litter the back yard. Some worked like planned and others still need a little tweaking to prefect the design that was once in my head. There, on the bench in my shop sits a folder filled with ideas and dreams yet to be built. The dust has already started settling on not only the folder, but the ideas within it.
A couple of months ago we sold all the animals, we are trying to save for a new air conditioner unit for the house. Sure, we still have a few chickens in the yard and now we have one donkey for some reason, but as I sit on the patio we built four years ago I look across an empty and quiet field that once held so much life. I also see the barren gardens we worked so hard to maintain and if I look hard enough I can just see inside the empty barn that once held so many living creatures, now it only holds a stack of empty feed bags. I see all this and wonder to myself, am I done.

Next month marks the Fourth year of Modern Day Redneck. This post is the 850th post I have written. This blog as 294000 visits from all over the world. It gets close to 11000 visits a month. MDR has been featured in many chat rooms, forums, web pages and even mentioned a time or two on pod casts. On top of all that this blog has 252 great family members. If you would have told me this four years ago I would never have believed it.
Saying all that I think it's time to introduce myself. My name is Jerry Ford, I live near the small North Texas town of Pilot Point.
I am a conservative, a husband, a father and most importantly, a daddy. I will also soon be a grandparent, I don't know what I want to be called yet but I am working on it. I have not excepted the situation nor do I like it, but I have to man up and deal with it.
My day job is in construction building highways, I don't like it much, but it's good money and a job.
I spent some time preaching the word, but soon fell from grace and now I am trying my best to start that steep walk all over again one day at a time. I struggle with everyday problems from bills to demons. My main struggles are with hate, racism, grudges and bigotry. These struggles and my non-willingness to bend my so called principles has torn my family apart. To escape some of these problems I do the worst thing I can and find relief in the bottom of a beer can. I have preached on everyone of these issues and know what they do to yourself and the ones you love. Like I said, one day at a time and he will get me through it. I guess having my girls all back together again this weekend triggered something inside. I want that again and I realize now I am the one that is keeping it from happening and it's not worth it.
That is about as exposed and as open as I can get right there.

The words put down on this blog are all true in the way I see it, remember it or take it. Is it all exactly word for word the way it happen, some yes and some no, but it's how I recall it to be. Deception is never the intent. I have lost many friends and pist off many family members with this blog. Probably out of embarrassment for themselves more than anything, but it is what it is. I have been called fake, also called a scammer, to me I am what I write and I write what I am.

In the beginning I wanted to post everyday. Now I am lucky to get one a week. What is there to post about when you are doing nothing productive? Nobody wants to hear about the everyday struggles we all face. I may mention them, but I try to never dwell on it. Same goes for religion and politics, there are many other blogs out there that can do a better job than I can when it comes to those. I have my beliefs and views and I promise you they are different than yours so I keep them to myself.
So I sit, several times a week looking at a blank screen wondering what I can write about. Finally when nothing comes to mind and I give up, I wonder if I am done with this chapter in my life as well.


Until then,
Jerry, MDR


    

40 comments:

  1. Darkness inevitably takes all of us. God bless, my friend.

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  2. I would surely miss your posts, I find them all interesting good or bad. Yours is one stop I must always make, and I think you may have been the first to ever comment on mine. Trust me, we all have our own set of demons or issues. I think that's what draws so many to your posts. There's a sense of kindred spirit when reading what others are trying to accomplish, and facing life's milestones. Never apologize for being honest. There's too little of that in this world. I find your honesty refreshing. Hang in there. Though we've never met face to face, I sure wish you the best.

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    1. I'm not saying I am going to quit blogging Izzy, I am just saying without anything to write about I was wondering if it was worth keeping it going.
      Thank you for the kind words

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  3. You are someone I would like to meet and that's the highest compliment I can give . I'm a loner and happy that way. I would never be interested in a person with only one aspect to them. It's the give & take, the up & down, the good & bad that makes a real life. Enough philosophy--

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    1. Thanks Anony, I have met a lot of good folks on here and hope to continue to do so with you being one of them. It would be my honor.
      Thanks for the comment.

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  4. Yours is one of the first blogs I stumbled upon. I don't remember how but am glad I did. You encouraged me to start my own blog (although I am being very lax about that lately). I have learned a lot reading your posts & for that I am very grateful & hope they continue. You also "introduced" me to Stephen & I thank you for that as well. Once a week or once a month will tide me over.

    Oh, & congratulations on your soon to be new role!

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    1. Thank you for the kind words DFW.
      I plan to continue to blog, I don't know what about but I will. As far as homesteading, I have not made up my mind on that yet. It is hard to stop a way of life I have always lived.

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  5. I for one truly enjoy reading everything you write. We all go through continual changes and sometimes left turns but we keep on going. It's the journey of our lives. Hang in there and remember that the children are our future no matter when and how they come. May God keep blessing you.

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  6. I enjoy your posts even though I read more than I comment. Some of the best blogs around are often filled with posts on nothing. Remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and George (I think) were discussing a new tv sitcom about nothing? The show was always about nothing and millions of people loved it, I don't need words of wisdom, just interesting, entertaining, posts where I might learn something sometimes. I am easily amused, easily distracted by shiny objects. You are too hard on yourself, in my opinion.

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    1. I do remember that episode and you are right.
      Thanks for the comment PP

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  7. buddy - you are one of the sweetest and greatest men i have ever met!!! the way that you and Mrs. MDR got together and started a family and that junkhouse that you originally built and then got yerselves that great city house and then moved to and built the MDR farm - holy moly! you guys have done and seen and been just about everything!!!

    better than any of that, you have been a great husband (even when you sucked - i am sure that C can attest to that!), you have been a great father (even when you sucked - you got 4 gorgeous and intelligent daughters who i am sure can attest to that!), and then you have all of these internet friends that you have taught and many have learned much from you - and we all appreciate it so much!!! you know that you are The Man - and you know that there are strangers out in the world who would love to meet you and have you teach them - read the above comments! i just want my buddy to bring that sweet wife and both of their drawls up here and you know what for - but mostly so that you can meet a whole pile of people who would think you are the bees knees! not the least would be me and jambaloney!

    i am sending big hugs your way! you are awesome and if you don't exactly feel that way right now - i'm getting out the *ss-kicking boots and coming down there and telling you how awesome you are!

    at the very least - you are a really good friend! do i need to rhyme off all the examples of you being a really good friend????? i didn't think so.

    much love. kiss that beautiful wife and those lovely girls for me, wouldjya? your friend,
    kymber

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    1. Thanks Kymber for a great comment. If I was as you wrote then things would be a lot better.

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  8. My friends and family have no idea about my blog. They know I have a blog, but I just don't tell them. I tell them about some of my posts, but not the location to see them. Actually an exbf does know how to get to my blog.

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    1. PP, I tried to keep mine hidden just for that reason. There are so many things I would like to blog about.

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  9. Everybody is fighting some kind of battle. Hang on and this too shall pass. I don't post near as often as I did when I started. But, my life here lately is pretty quiet and that's a good thing. I just stop following a bunch of blogs but, I kept yours.

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    1. Thanks for hanging around Sharon, it means a lot.
      Quiet time is good time.

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  10. Just let it fly man anything don't matter what it is.I'm not saying be stupid like me.I will say I always liked the project posts.

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  11. At least you are able to admit you have flaws. Everyone does. As for family, it can be a sticky situation. My family doesn't know I have a blog. they have too much drama. Scratch that, my parents know I have one. they don't have internet though. I love your blog. I wish I could write more on mine, but like you at times I don't have anything to write about. Congrats on being a grandpa.

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    1. Thanks J&M for the comment. As far as family, drama should be my last name.

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  12. I'm a newcomer to your blog but have been a faithful reader since I found it. It is brave of you to come out and bare your soul like that. Very few people do, including me. I do enjoy reading your blog and how you have started over and made quite a bit out of nothing. I hope you continue along that path and that I will still be reading about it in the years to come. Take care.

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    1. I plan on keeping going Ed, I don't know what I will be writing about but I will keep it going.
      Thanks for the kind words.

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  13. I was victimized by mother, husband, and physical illnesses that would drop most people. I was a victim until I was 49, and I figured my life was over anyway, so why bother fighting the current. If I had not decided I had HAD IT with being pushed around by life, I'd still be where I was. But I stood up, said "I'm NOT going down without a fight" and found out I had strength I'd never imagined possible.

    Now, if someone hates me for no reason, I give them one. I stand up for myself, and act in my own best interest as well as those who need my assistance.

    Everyone who knows me, knows I am trustworthy, honest, and true to my word.

    I know you as a man of many talents, who used them in the pursuit of what we all want: Peace, Home, Harmony, and Honor. Now you're looking at all the failures, and you're feeling worthless.

    Knowing what is wrong is the first step to doing what is right. Stand up, throw that bottle away, and do not follow in your past footsteps. Don't worry about what people think of you. Don't count this blog as the last dregs of a failed life. Get motivated. You have a job. How much worse would it be if you didn't.

    Mend your fences, make your apologies, and the ball is out of your hands. I have come here on many occasions just to have a moment to land somewhere that wasn't all sunshines and rainbows, but a combination of work, hurt, success and failure. Such is life for all of us.

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    1. LJ, even though I have not known you that long I could tell right off the bat you are a very strong willed lady. I applaud you for that.
      I don't look at myself as a failure. I have succeeded in just about everything I have set out to do. Sure, there are always setbacks but in the whole I am blessed.
      This was not a woe as me post by no means. I just wrote from the heart on this one.

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  14. I'm still reading you. If you want to write less you can join me in my club of bloggers writing less to do more else where. Sometimes just enjoying the peace we have built is something that needs to be done otherwise why bother building it. Your grandchild will change you. You will find love of a different kind that you didn't know existed. This I know. I have raised my grand daughter from a baby and what a beautiful young women she has become. You will love the ride.

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    1. Thank you sista for being there and your kind words.

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  15. MDR,

    There is nothing wrong with starting over my friend. Take it one day at a time, things will come together. Your a strong man, with a loving wife and daughters. It's not necessary to post every day, post when it works for you, when you have something you wish to share.
    Sending hugs to you and your sweet family. One wise man told me once, "This to shall pass".

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    1. I'm good Sandy and thank you for the hugs.
      It's just sad to see everything you built just sitting.

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  16. The things you just wrote about is called life. We all have "life". Maybe that's why I like reading your blog. I feel like you are real. LOL! I maybe wrong (lol) but on this side of the computer I can relate to a lot of things you write about. Honestly, if I didn't like reading your blog, I wouldn't read it. I enjoy reading about your life. :0)

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    1. I agree SMF, that's all it is, life.
      Thank you for being a friend

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  17. Just when the caterpillar thought it was all over it became a butterfly !
    Hang on in, keep blogging 'cause we all need you, and just wait and see how your life changes for the better when you hold that tiny bundle of joy in your arms. As for the critics - those who know you know better and as for those who don't know you - who gives a damn ? Prayers, hugs and warmest wishes. X

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  18. Blogs evolve. It's the nature of things. People change, mature, move on. The thing is, people come and go, but a lot of us hang around because we like what we see and read. We become invested in your life not because you're that crazy prepper guy or the project guy but because you've given us a window into your life and we care enough to see what's there. Write whatever you want when you want and don't worry about it being this or that. Those that care will read.

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  19. Someone wrote this better than I ever could.
    To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

    2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

    3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

    4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

    5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

    6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

    7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

    8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

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  20. Ha ha, thanks for outlining your slow journey from the city to the country! You've got a humorous and very interesting view of rural living. I look forward to reading more from you, Modern Day Redneck!

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    1. Thank you Joanna for stopping by. If you need anything just let me know

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