Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Unequally Yoked As A Prepper

The apostle Paul wrote to the saints in Corinth, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

I understand Paul was talking about our and our mates individual belief in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost. If you were raised in any type of religious environment it is taught that we need to "Yoke" ourselves to the same. Setting color and ethnicity to the side, our partners beliefs need to be close to same in order for the relationship to work without spiritual conflict.

As with all things there are exceptions. I know couples who have been married for years that are of different beliefs. One being Baptist and the other Catholic. I asked one fifty year couple how it all worked for so long and he said they never talk about it. They just do their own thing. I guess if it works, it works but how sad is it not to be able to fellowship with your own beloved spouse.

If we married ourselves it would boring. There has to be some differences to make life interesting. Maybe my wife likes Mexican food a lot more then me or I like Rock climbing more than her. The differences are what makes life more interesting and those small differences we all have with one another should not stand in the way with how we live. I will compromise and eat tacos more than I would like while the wife compromises and stays at the bottom of the rock cliff cheering me on telling me not fall.

But what if our mates do stand in the way. We could be on the same page on just about everything in life except the one we feel so strongly about and it will make for a disaster waiting to happen. We also evolve as we get older and gain knowledge. What did not interest me twenty two years ago when I wed my be my main focus today. If she is not of the same mind set then conflict will happen and the same the other way as well.

I am not comparing Religion to Mexican food or anything of the sorts.
Here's the bottom line, What if a survivalist weds a non-survivalist, a homesteader to a apartment dweller that does not want to move, a prepper to a spender or a farmer to a high kept city gal? He/she will will never get the support or backing unless one or the other changes their mind set to become more like the other.

Doing your own thing will only last for a while, but when you come home with a new survival gadget when the other one wants to buy a new dog sweater, that is where the trouble starts. I may like the shade from my trees, but the wife may want more sun for her new garden. What if I want to buy extra food at the store for my preps but she wants to go out for dinner, conflict is inevitable when we are unequally yoked in that way.

Everyone can compromise to an extent. I can only buy some extra food and then take her to McDonald's. Do we both win, or do we both loose? Neither got what we really wanted.

Aside from food storage, what about just living. As we get older we tend to want to eat better to preserve what little precious life we have left. Eating better means buying more expensive organic foods or growing your own. If I had no help in the gardens or harvesting and preserving the foods and the wife was against the very nature of me doing such dumb things, then I would eventually become bitter while I watched my mate eat the food I labored for.
Don't get me wrong, being unable to help is one thing, but complaining and blatantly sitting on the couch refusing to help while I clearly need it is something entirely different.

I am lucky that I found a woman with the same mind set as I do. I can only remember a hand full of ideas she has turned her nose up at, but then helped out anyway. Being yoked to the same thought process is a wonderful thing. We may differ on how to do it, but the end result is that it gets done. Backing and support are everything when trying to do all this and it is really hard to do it when someone you love is not with you in every step.

No, prepping/homesteading is not as big a deal as my beliefs in the creator, but understanding and support are pieces of the puzzle I call marriage. I should only hope you all are equally yoked to your spouse in all this and for for the ones who are not, I say to hang in there and do what you can, maybe they will turn around.

 

15 comments:

  1. Good post and certainly points out some important things for those just getting started with their lives together!

    Having a like minded partner can ease any difficult time, I think!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by HermitJim
      I think it should be something every couple looks into before they take the plunge. The problem is just me, most are blinded by love.

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  2. You are sooooo right! On both accounts, religion and life. I read about couples all the time where one is on board for being a prepper and the other is not, it really makes for some tough times for both.

    Fortunately PB and I are on the same page in both respects, we have similar religious beliefs, though we do differ on some of the details, it's OK, we don't fight about it, we learn from each other. We also have similar ideas about living off grid and spending money.

    Life is good,
    Wretha

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    1. It is good to hear from you Wretha,
      I am glad you can share your ideas and beliefs with one another. It sure makes thinks a lot easier.

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  3. Ironically, I was the one not 'yoked' a few years back. I have always believed in being prepared to some extent (a week or so, I DO live in Hurricane central) but not to THE extent (3 months or longer). I have since joined on full time and am fully 'involved', even all the way to guns & ammo, which I used to question (but never discouraged).

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    1. No way DFW! I never would have thought it. Congratulations on coming out of the closet so to speak.

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    2. Hee hee. Just took a real 'realization' to bring me out. I am here to stay, even w/gardening disappointments (sp?).

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  4. The old saying is that opposites may attract, but likes stay together.

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  5. i grew up on a farm and never gave up the lifestyle of frugality and preparedness...my husband hates farm life but he spent his career as a u.s.marine, and as things turned out, he taught me all of the things i did not know how to do..just in case he would not be there for me and the family. and while he was doing this he greatly appreciated what i brought into our union as well. currently we live on a small farm although we have no animals to raise and deal with, we garden and prepare for anything that is sent our way. it has certainly helped our relationship to be on the same wave-length even with small varying blips on occasion-most times those are the most interesting times and call for putting two brains and two hearts together .

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    1. Wow Anony, what a great story. I am so glad it has all worked out for the good.

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  6. Luckily my wife and I have the same interests. It has made things a lot easier.

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    1. Good to hear John, Thanks for the comment

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