It's Not My Fault

This other morning our Great Dane "Duke" stuck his nose to mine while I was sleeping. This is what he does to wake one of us up to let him outside. At 4:20 AM I just pushed him away and mumbled to no one, "Give me ten more minutes". I heard him run around the other side of the bed where the wife sleeps and I just grinned because now I could go back to dream land and she would have to get up and let him out.
I felt her side of the bed bend down and glanced over my shoulder to the big silhouette crawling up on the bed. Being that Duke is 170 pounds I needed to show him who was the boss plus, I did not want him climbing over the wife and hurting her. Reaching back and with a firm voice and a strong backhand, I slapped him and told him "No, get down!"   
What I felt at point of contact was soft smooth skin, not course rough dog hair. The next thing I knew the world as I knew it came to an end. The wife started screaming, crying and hollering and in the throws of absolute turmoil she asked what and why I hit her. All I could answer was "Next time you better listen to me" Yea, that went over just as good as the back hand did.
We ended up laughing it off, or at least I did and now two weeks later I am still making it up to her. All I can say is that is wasn't my fault.